Chapter 4- Meeting the Fam

After our dizzyingly wonderful first kiss, Isaac and I talked for hours: about us, about our pasts, about the future.  From the beginning, we made it a point to practice full disclosure. It was painful and spectacular-- painful because we all come with a past, often one which we wish we could change. Spectacular because the honesty we showed each other was so freeing. Isaac didn't play with my mind; he never made me guess where I stood with him. "Games", which are just a pathetic, insecure grasp for relationship power, were something we didn't have time for because we were busy enjoying falling in love and searching out whether or  not we were meant to keep moving forward in our relationship. I've wondered if that was the first time he knew he loved me. It definitely was NOT when I discovered that I loved him. That came much later. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

"So, I went to visit my folks this weekend, and I told them all about this new girl I'm seeing."

"Oh, really? I bet she's pretty awesome in every way." Wow, Christina, good one! You are so confident!

"Yeah, they are really excited and want to meet you. In fact, they are coming into town this afternoon."

"Oh, really?" Oh, dear God. What if they hate me? Quick, buy them presents and Google "how to be charming"! "Wow. That's soo-- I mean, great!"

"Yeah, they're making a trip to Academy, so I thought you could come and then we could all go out to eat."

"That sounds great. I love Academy. See you later... I'm hanging up now... Yaaay..."


I lied. I do NOT love Academy. Contrary to what the name would have you believe, this store sells nothing related to school, a subject I actually know about. In fact, they sell pretty much everything I know nothing about. "Sports and Outdoors"? My mind quickly reels through the experiences I have in these two areas.

Sports: I ran cross country in high school. That counts, right? I mean, I think the coach allowed me to run out of pity or some masochistic need for a career challenge, but... Oh, and there was that one time I got a cramp after a race so bad I laid down at the finish line (after finishing next-to-last out of 60) and my coach asked me if I was getting enough potassium. Apparently the reply, "Well I had a banana last week, but I think it's wearing off," was not adequate.

Ok, just stay away from the sports section of the store. How about "outdoors"?

Outdoors: There are bugs out there. Ewww.

I'm in trouble.

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In the spirit of full disclosure, Isaac told me from the very beginning that his family's opinion was very important to him when it comes to choosing a spouse. "They love God. They love me. I trust their opinions because they have God's will and my best interest at heart." No pressure, right?

I have successfully knocked on Isaac's door without shaking or throwing up. So far, so good. As I walk into his and his brother's living room, I am greeted by a host of friendly faces. A HOST. My shyness begins to rear it's red-cheeked head at the most inopportune of times.

"I'd like you to meet everyone. This is my mom, dad, my sister, her husband, her two children, and my dad's coworker."

I'm sure there were name inserted into this introduction, but I've gone ahead and omitted them seeing as it's pretty hopeless that I'll ever remember them all.

"Come on in, have a seat!"

All eyes are on me, so I have no option to turn and run away at this point.

"Here honey, you sit in the recliner." His father chivalrously says as he moves seats.

The recliner? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "Oh, no thanks, I'll just sit over here."

"No, no, it's ok. Here you go."

Ah, recliners. A short person's nightmare. It's my own fault for dating a giant. He's bought oversized furniture, and climbing onto it, especially the recliner, requires either a daredevil hop backwards and up or climbing in a knees-up-butt-awkwardly-out sort of way. Either way, my semblance of poise is surely about to be compromised. This whole family is tall. They just won't understand.

I choose the backwards hop. Now that I'm in, I remember the other major problem we short people endure with recliners: Tiny Person= Big Chair Syndrome.

The struggle is real.

Yes, they notice. They think it's cute and funny, but I'm pretty sure it's just mortifying. After some pleasantries and small talk, we make our way to Academy. Once there, they decide to split up, men looking at the outdoorsy items, women looking at athletic shoes. Oh, I so don't want to leave Isaac's side, but I go with the girls and kiddos. His sister is a delight. We talk and laugh, and I instantly bond with the kiddos, too! 

His mom is a different story. She is beautiful, classy, polite, kind, and quiet. Very quiet. Now, I'm a shy person in some situations, but for the most part, I'm fairly extroverted. This means that it doesn't take me long to want to laugh with, hug, and share my life story with, well, pretty much anyone I meet, almost immediately. It also means that when people don't share my same disdain for personal boundaries, discretion, or propriety, I get nervous. REALLY nervous.  

Is this person mad? Is he or she sad? Should I hug him/her? Should I tell a really vulnerable story about myself and cry so that she will know she can be real with me?

I feel a little sorry for all of the introverted students I've taught in years past. I probably called on them more because I felt like they resented their genius going unnoticed for so long, so I gave them the chance to shine by answering in front of the class! 

I want to win his mother's approval. Mostly, I want to KNOW I've won her approval. But, I know I must be patient. I keep reminding myself that for some people silence doesn't mean "I hate you", "I'm sad", or "Please draw attention to me". I'm new, I'm with her baby, and she's looking out for him.

My my anxiety-filled thoughts are broken by Grace, Isaac's adorable little six-year-old niece. "Are you going to Arkansas with us for family vacation? We're going in two weeks."

"Oh, no. I'm just here to help you shop for your trip," I reply with a stutter and a smile.

"Awwwww. I want you to come with us!"

Now, I know I'm a little awkward anyway, but what do you say in this situation? Really? 

"Well, maybe next time, if your Uncle and I are still together"? "Oh, it does sound fun, can I go with you, new family? Can I?" "Vacation? Yeah, right. We're still trying to figure out if this 'relationship' is even serious!" 

I just laugh and stare intently at a shoe I know nothing about. I've known this guy for a little over a month. Vacation? No way.

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At dinner, I get to hear all kinds of great, blackmail-worthy stories about this amazing man I'm dating. Mrs. Broadway and I get the chance to laugh and joke together. Mr. Broadway treats me with such fatherly care and attentiveness that it's like we've always known each other. I sit in the car on the way home and contemplate this sweet family-- this family of people that worship God, that love each other fiercely, that doesn't take themselves too seriously, that welcomes outsiders like me because they are that overflowing with love. My heart swells with happiness and thanksgiving as I remember all of the years I've spent praying for the chance to be a part of a family just like this. At this point, I'm not sure what the future holds for Isaac and me, but I am grateful to have gotten the chance to know and learn from this wonderful group of people.  

Little do I know, in just two weeks, I will be experiencing some of the most unfortunate and embarrassing moments of my life right in front of all of them.

Coming Soon: Chapter 5- Family Vacation

Thank you for reading! As usual, if you've made it this far, I have left you an entertainment treat:

30 Awkward Moments Every Short Girl Understands